Choosing Yourself: Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential
The Guilt of Putting Yourself First
How many times have you canceled a yoga class because you felt guilty leaving your family? Or skipped a quiet moment with a book because your to-do list felt endless? If you’re like most women, especially those navigating the complexities of midlife, the idea of prioritizing yourself often feels selfish—or even impossible.
But here’s the truth: Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential.
For years, I struggled with this concept. I poured my energy into my work, my clients, and my relationships, often leaving little for myself. It wasn’t until I hit a breaking point—BURNOUT! —that I realized self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking time for yourself, this blog is for you. Because choosing yourself isn’t just an act of self-love; it’s an act of survival.
What Is Self-Care? (And What It Isn’t)
Self-care is often misunderstood. It’s not about indulging in bubble baths or expensive spa days (though those can be nice). It’s about intentionally nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
For me, self-care means setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and carving out time for activities that replenish my energy. It’s about recognizing that I can’t pour from an empty cup.
But self-care isn’t always easy. It requires us to confront the guilt and societal expectations that tell us we should always be doing more, giving more, being more.
Why Self-Care Feels Selfish (And Why It’s Not)
Many of us were raised to believe that putting others first is the ultimate virtue. While there’s beauty in generosity, it becomes problematic when it comes at the expense of our own well-being.
The truth is, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s sustainable. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to show up for others. Think of it like the oxygen mask on an airplane: You have to secure your own before helping someone else.
I learned this the hard way. There was a time when I thought pushing through exhaustion and ignoring my needs made me strong. But it only left me drained, resentful, completely strung out and unable to fully enjoy the life I was working so hard to build.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Care
When you prioritize self-care, the benefits extend far beyond yourself.
For Your Family: When you’re well-rested and emotionally balanced, you’re more patient, present, and engaged with your loved ones.
For Your Work: When you’re energized and focused, you’re more productive and creative.
For Your Community: When you’re thriving, you have more to give to the causes and people you care about.
Self-care isn’t just about you; it’s about creating a ripple effect of positivity in every area of your life.
How to Start Choosing Yourself
If the idea of self-care feels overwhelming, start small. Here are a few practical steps to help you begin:
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no without guilt. Protect your time and energy like the precious resources they are.
Schedule “Me Time”: Block out time in your calendar for activities that replenish you—whether it’s a walk in nature, a creative hobby, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.
Ask for Help: You don’t have to do it all alone. Delegate tasks, lean on your support system, and let go of the need to be perfect.
You Deserve to Be a Priority
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. It’s about recognizing your worth and honoring your needs so you can show up as the best version of yourself for the people and passions that matter most.
If you’re ready to start prioritizing yourself, I’d love to hear from you. What’s one small way you can practice self-care today?
Remember, you don’t have to do it all. You just have to start.
